Monthly Archives: June 2009

No Pants Dancer

It’s hard to communicate efficiently with a man in his underpants.  Boxers, briefs, whatever is you call them in your house.  I don’t think most men realize how difficult it is to take them seriously when they’re standing around in their skivvies.  For twenty years I have tried to impress this fact upon my husband, a man who believes in his stony little heart that boxers are on par with other casual wear languishing away in his armoire.  This is a […]

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Neighbors and other groundhogs

Not too long ago, neighbors indicated that the members of their household are thinking of packing up and moving away.  No specific reason really, no job transfer or family relocation necessary. They’re just interested in leaving.  When pressed, they cite the occasional crime in our area or some shady looking character seen driving on the streets from time to time.  But, they admit that the bottom line is that they desire more rooms and room-to-roam.   While I don’t begrudge […]

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Nag = code word for TEACH

As a teenager, I distinctly remember thinking to myself, "I will never nag my kids the way my parents do!"  I held this ridiculous belief for most of my life, having had my first child when I was 30 years old.  At the time, 30 was the new 20 … so I was still considered a pretty young and hip (I might add) mother throughout most of my parenting experience.  Even as I approached my 40th birthday, I held the little crumb […]

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Size 0? No, thanks and pass the pie.

When I was growing up (or out, as middle-age spread dictates) there was no size 0.  Plain didn't exsist.  No such animal.  Somewhere around the time I was a sophomore in high school the jeans I bought (Jordache, fancy stitching on the pockets) were a size 3/4.  I kept those pants until I was 24 years old and when I replaced them, the next pair (Bongo – no pockets, no stitching. In fact, no rumpus ruckus back there) were a 5.  […]

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Day of Fathers

Today is Father’s Day, a day that traditionally gives dads permission to kick back, relax, neglect working in the yard and do what their heart desires.  For some men, the day might begin with breakfast in bed followed by 18 holes of golf and an afternoon barbecue.  In television commercials the day is capped with sentimental cards given by sweet rosy-cheeked children in freshly pressed clothing.  In our house, it’s not that Rockwell picturesque, but the thought is still there. […]

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Facebook Friends ARE Real Friends

Yesterday I had one of the best birthdays ever, thanks to social media.  A family medical drama prevented me from going to lunch with friends and, as a result, I only spoke to a handful of living, breathing human beings yesterday – but I still felt loved because I was electronically “hugged” by people I am proud to call my friends.  A lot of them are Facebook friends and some I haven’t seen in decades, but they are still my […]

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But, I don’t want 18 hour underwear

Today while flipping through some paperwork I saw an advertisement for the “18 hour bra”.  To be honest, I hadn’t thought of that phrase in a month of Sundays and I didn’t know they still made the darn thing.  Not that I spend a lot of time worrying about such matters.  My head has been full for the last decade with more important things like newspaper headlines, raising a family and wondering why the President would give the queen an […]

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