Monthly Archives: May 2012

The Plumber.

The Quick & Hot under-sink water unit is leaking.  Who you gonna call?  Despite your first guess (shouted out in your best Ray Parker, Jr. voice), I called and carefully explained the situation to the nice man who answered the phone at the office of The Plumber.  The Plumber, whose name I’ve seen on billboards every day of my nearly two decades in this valley.  The Plumber, whose wife I’ve known since our kids were in elementary school together.  Water […]

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50 is the new 50.

One month from today I will turn 50.  It’s funny, but when people hear that, they like to ask, “How do you feel about that?!” as though it’s a diagnosis, not a birthday.  Outside of a wee blood pressure issue that is certainly a sign of aging, I feel fine, thank you for asking.  But, honestly I’ve felt fine about all of the decade milestones.  20, 30, 40 they were all good.  10 was probably the worst one, but that […]

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Are you “mom” enough?

The media is a wicked mistress, especially when it comes to manufactured holidays like Mother’s Day.  Time magazine’s latest cover didn’t help matters much, either. Mother’s Day ads are filled with images of mothers holding babies, toddlers delivering self-portraits, men carrying breakfast trays and elderly women being hugged by multiple generations.  Nice.  But not always the picture painted in homes hither and thither and yon. The uproar over whether Time Magazine’s recent cover of a woman breastfeeding her combat fatigue […]

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Autoneurotica

My car despises me.  There is no other way to explain how cruel it has been to me over the years.  Mainly, there’s the whole funhouse effect whenever I approach the driver’s side window, reflecting a face that can only be described as funeral parlor ready, wearing a fright wig styled by faulty electrical outlet and eggbeater.   Don’t judge me.  I spend a perfectly adequate amount of time getting ready in the morning: 45 minutes showered-to-powdered and out the […]

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The one that got away.

Everyone has a fish story.  The exaggerated tale of the “catch-of-a-lifetime” that was nearly theirs.  It could have been a job or career that they’d dreamed of and never got.  Maybe it was the education or an experience that eluded them due to financial strains.  Sometimes it is an opportunity that was close enough to touch, but didn’t transpire.  For many, it is unrequited love that wriggled from their grasp, leaving them with an eternal case of regret, from which, […]

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