Close up Hands Tea x

Sit a bit and hear some observational stories I’ve been steeping.

Loans, tigers and bearers, oh my!

Please forgive me for not writing lately. I’ve been a bit busy.  Well, not just “busy” (which I love) or “crazy busy” (which I don’t mind either).  It has been more a crazy-making, crazy-busy that’s kept me from sitting with my weekly mug of tea to share with all of you.  I’m going through a rather large life event and it’s toying with my ability to put fingers to keys for Tea with T.  Not that I’m not writing, I’m writing a lot – just nothing anybody would want to read.  More of a wrap your fish/line your bird cage kind of fodder.

 

The life event I speak of is not having a baby, getting married or experiencing the death of a loved one – I’m trying to close escrow on my house, which, is pretty much all that I just mentioned.  This process has involved more than nine months of serious labors pains and people looking all up into my personal business on a weekly basis; the binding of myself for the next 30 years to the Great and Powerful Oz (No, really.  I’ve never SEEN the loan people, only communicated through electronic devices, so how do I know it isn’t just one guy with a multiple personality complex); and my very soul and sanity (who I have always treasured) are teetering on the brink of a freshly dug, not-so-shallow grave.

 

It isn’t that the loan people (or loony, great-with-voices, ONE person) haven’t been kind.  They have actually been quite lovely.  Why else would I pledge myself to them (in sickness and in health, I will pay the mortgage, so help me Hannah), for the next three decades?  For the most part, it has been a nice courtship, though I did get a bit snarky when some of the same questions kept being asked.  WTH?  By week three I was pretty certain that my exact genetic sequencing was on a post-it note somewhere in the title company’s office, so why did they need to ask ANYthing more than twice?  What?!  You don’t TRUST me?!  Is this any way to start a relationship?

 

This has been one of the most arduous journeys of my life, this fighting for my home after the divorce thing.  And it wasn’t some War of the Roses property struggle, either.  Don’t go thinking that I live in some big mansion on a hill, by the way.  I live in 1800 sq. feet of Beaver Cleaver cul-de-sac and the loan I sought was less than Jennifer Lopez probably spends on burgers for her and her boy toy (to be fair, that’s if they take the yacht out for a spin to St. Bart for le French fries, too).  My loan is for a piddly hill of beans.  Yet, in the dark of night I believe the loan people are scouring through my hairbrush for signs of instability and debilitating dandruff that might inhibit my ability to pay my mortgage on time.

 

Today, at noon, I am supposed to close escrow with Mr. Oz and I don’t expect him to carry me over the threshold, when the dust settles.  In fact, I’m just happy to know that I’m going to have a threshold.  One where I can open the door and happily greet “busy” and “crazy-busy” soon.  I sort of miss ‘em.  You guys, too.

 

2 thoughts on “Loans, tigers and bearers, oh my!

  • Joyce says:

    Hi Ms Katz!
    Sadly I work in the mortgage loan field , craziness and all(an industry that I can’t seem to escape!)Sorry to hear your experience was less than encouraging for a prompt closing and fast loan process. Hopefully by now, the mortgage “gods” have granted you the signing, funding and recording so you may close that chapter in this new year.

  • Hope the insanity has stopped by now…I miss reading your wry take on life on a regular basis…wish you many warm cups in YOUR house in the year ahead…and there’s a lot of material in this tangent yet to be mined…you could always threaten ’em with that

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