Close up Hands Tea x

Sit a bit and hear some observational stories I’ve been steeping.

No More Drama

On StageAs someone who loves to perform it might surprise you how much I despise drama.  Not the scripted kind that comes with a stage or camera, mind you.  Just the garden variety that you either create yourself or that accompanies other people. You know – the ones stuck in a cloud of drama chaos (not unlike Pig Pen from “Peanuts”) – that swirls close enough to suck you in with them.  A large portion of my life was spent with on-stage AND off-stage drama due to:

a) folks around me who liked the rush of the emotional “drug” that comes from the drama of always being on the brink of some borderline crisis.

b) people who could not figure out which rope to pull from their psychic bag of tricks to get them up and out of any drama.

c) my own bad self getting swept up in drama and wondering how and why I got there.

Life is hard enough as it is.  Must we add the extra element of drama in our lives, or worse yet… heaping other people’s drama onto our own?  I think not.  I have worked REALLY hard to eliminate as much (unscripted) drama out of my life as possible and over our tea today, I’d like to help you do the same. [Plus, I’m also tired of typing the word drama and I would really like to stop that.]

According to Julie Gurner*, who is a very knowledgeable Doctor of Clinical Psychology, there are 5 Simple Ways to Avoid Drama – but you need to know that this business of eliminating drama from your life is akin to those ads that tell you how to get Rock Hard Abs or Buns of Steel… it looks easy, but you have to work.  Yes, it is simple – but it ain’t easy.  You’re going to have to roll up your emotional sleeves, but when it’s all said and done, you might still have 99 problems, but a drama glitch won’t be one.  Here we go:

  1. Walk Away from Gossip – Whether in person, on the phone or via a keyboard of any kind, avoid gossiping.  You don’t have to be rude if someone starts to present you with nasty dialogue, but you do need to remember that gossip is similar to a hungry vampire that can, and most certainly will, hurt you.  Step away without making much of a fuss and move along quietly.  Bite free.
  2. Be Tactful or Don’t Talk – Regardless of what some well-meaning relative might have told you, honesty isn’t always the best policy and often turns out to be a fuse you didn’t want to light.  Bomb diffusers don’t go into tense situations like bulls in china closets.  They are careful and use great sensitivity.  You’d be wise to do the same in situations where drama is already in the air.
  3. Don’t Post Anything Anywhere with Dramatic Potential – It almost hurts me how simple that phrase is.  I could furrow my brow to explain this to you, but Dr. Gurner explains it even more simply, “If you are posting things hoping others don’t see them – the very person you don’t want to see it, will see it – or hear about it.”  Get it?  Hear no evil.  Speak no evil.  Post no evil.  It will not end well for you, if you do, when the  credits role.
  4. Don’t Lie or Play Games – two of the biggest triggers for drama are Lying and Game Playing.  Not on the level of Parcheesi “Oh, I didn’t get your message” either.  I’m talkin’ more Soldier of Fortune “This is Bernie Madoff and he’s here to help you” caliber.  Lying and Games are dangerous and unnecessary.  If you don’t want drama in your sandbox, stand clear of both.
  5. Eliminate or Reduce Contact with Lovers of Items #1, #2, #3 and #4 – Again, Dr. Gurner puts it simple terms (after all, she bought the books, she went to school, she’s good at this), “By keeping people in your life that do [love drama], you are going to be associated with it.”  It might help to think of them as having a contagious virus. One with a really noxious oozing goo that you don’t want to roll around in.  +_+

Drama, drama, drama.  Now, that’s the last time I’m going to mention it and we need not speak of it (or walk willing into it) ever again.  Unless there’s a gown and red carpet involved, people.  I beg of you (quite dramatically, too)… No more drama!

A real woman avoids drama. She knows her time is precious and she’s not wasting it on the unimportant things.” – Unknown

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good.  After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.” – Unknown

*Dr. Julie Gurner has been featured in such media outlets as NBCNews.com, the Huffington Post, Shape Magazine, etc.

2 thoughts on “No More Drama

  • Wow! Had to be divine intervention that I just came across your post! I arrogantly pride myself on not tolerating drama, but was recently called on the carpet for it. Not that it’s a bad thing to have a distaste for drama (as you obviously know ;), but I got caught up in it and ignored the real feelings of someone (a child, no less – I’m that awful) because I thought they were just being dramatic. Partially true, but I realized I have to first stop and distinguish orchestrated drama rom authentic hurt feelings.
    Wish I could say it was only children who are dramatic, but you have perfectly listed the ways to avoid drama with grown-ups. Thanks so much for this!

    Shannon Okahara

    Author, “Tooth on the Loose”
    Now available on Amazon.com

    • TKatz says:

      I’ve told my husband – “Unless there’s a fantastic stylist and red-carpet in my future… I don’t see the point.” There’s a reason they have medication for an accelerated heartrate and elevated blood pressure. Too bad there isn’t a pill for the people in our lives who ARE pills. +_+

      Going to pop over and check out YOUR book “Tooth on the Loose” now (even tho’ my kids are grown – could be a book for the future Grandma shelf).

      xo – t.

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