Close up Hands Tea x

Sit a bit and hear some observational stories I’ve been steeping.

tEXt Files

UpTexting is a form of communication that ranks pretty high on my list of preferred forms of communication.  It is firmly sandwiched in-between face-to-face (#1) and email (#3) and, frankly, waaay above the dreaded telephone (#last#last#last).  I prefer texting, mostly because it is a silent and efficient way of transmitting information and often acts as a reminder of things I need to do or follow-up on, since it’s always with me.  Out of all of the ways to convey info, texting is pretty painless.

However, every now and then a text will pop up on my cell phone that makes me shake my head or roll my eyes in exasperation and it amazes me how just a sentence or two can make me uncomfortable.

A few weeks ago, I got a text that got me so worked up — it made me sputter, curse a light blue streak (I’m usually all about the minced oath*, so this was slightly out of character) and stomp until the cat left the room.  It’s a clear sign you’ve gone and crossed a line when you’ve frightened a black cat into exiting stage left in a mad, mad panic.

The text that pierced a hole in my usually calm demeanor… came from my ex.  It was the tEXt that has since ruined more than a few days.  And lives.

This text from the ex read:  “I think I’m moving to Peru.”

It took me a few minutes before I could think straight and calm my shaking thumbs — with no less than seven SpellCheck errors — and hit SEND: Peru? What? Moving? Excuse me? Did I miss a memo?

tEXt: Yeah.  I’ve decided I’m going to move to Peru.

<Insert my complete conniption and spoken dialogue that only the cat heard here>

As much as I’m not a fan of the phone, I decided this was a conversation important enough to not let my fingers do the talking, so I dialed… well, I guess we don’t really dial anymore with keypads and all.  So, I guess it’s more accurate (and satisfying) to say I punched… the ex.

Me: Okay.  Please walk me through what I just read.

Ex: Yeah.  I’ve decided I’m moving to Peru.

Me: Peru?!  You’ve never even been.  WHERE in Peru?

Ex: Cusco, Peru.

Me: Oh, please.  I know how much you like your weekly sojourns to Costco. Are you just confused?

Ex: No. I’ve looked it up on-line.  I think I’m going to move there.

Me: Costco?

Ex: Cusco.

Me: Why Peru?

Ex: It seems nice and it’s cheap.

Me: Yeah, well so is Costco.

Ex: I already contacted a realtor. I’m going to put my house up for sale. Tonight.

At this point, with itchy trigger fingers and no gun at hand – I grabbed my cellphone and started texting a friend with the incoming fast and furious auditory information from my ex, including the part about how during a recent lunch with our son he said he explained that he was sort of moving to Paradise Falls, the place that Ellie wanted to go to in the movie “Up.” [Uh, FYI? Paradise Falls doesn’t exist according to www.science4grownups.com but then again, neither do those talking dogs from the minds of Pixar Animation Studios. But, I digress.]

The conversation came to an end.  Not because there wasn’t a whole lot more to say, it just couldn’t be done in one sitting (or, in my case, stomping).

You’ll forgive me, if I thought that the slow emotional erosion that had started decades ago was nearly complete.  I had no idea there was earth still left to move.

You see, my marriage didn’t end in an instant.  It was more like a million moments strung together, and with this one text – despite the fact that we’ve both moved on with our lives — there were a million more I didn’t know still existed. I thought I had shed all the tears for what had been lost.  But, I was wrong.

It was a long time ago that our family unit unraveled as my ex slowly retreated from our world into a solitary world of his own doing.  Now… he has sold his house, given notice at his job and is moving a world away.  My children are losing their father.  Again.

With any luck, maybe the man will find his paradise (minus the fall).  If so, I can only hope he’ll communicate with his kids now and then.  Me, he’ll probably tEXt.

xo – t.

“Know thyself? If I knew myself I’d run away.” – Johann Wolfang von Goethe

“Life only demands from you the strength that you possess.  Only one feat is possible; not to run away.” – Dag Hammarskjold

“You can’t run away from trouble. There ain’t no place that far.” – James Baskett

*Minced Oath: a euphemistic expression formed by misspelling, mispronouncing, or replacing a part of a profaneblasphemous, or taboo term to reduce the original term’s objectionable characteristics. Examples: Son of a Biscuit Eater; Dagnabbit; What the French Toast?…

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